I'm not a raver, I'm not a tweaker, I'm not nine years old, but I do love me some glow sticks. Maybe it is the influence of electro becoming more and more ingratiated into pop music, or maybe it is a result of the nineties becoming retro-cool, but I think they are amzing and am drawn to them like a fly to a bright blue bug zapper!

Things have advanced since the days of simple glow stick - Look at this pirates booty of wonderful things that you can get to glow in the dark! - But, I am a purist. I appreciate the time and place for ticky-tacky accoutrement, but you gotta chill the F* out if you wanna play it cool with the GS. Don't think of it as a party gag. Think of it as a work of wonderful art.

Think of Dan Flavin, the remarkable sculptor/artist who did amazing works with the same neon lights available at most stores. "Dan Flavin's light sculptures illuminate everything around them," Susan Stamberg reported. "His fluorescent lights don't just hang there. They inhabit space. They wash the walls with color, they mix colors so the white walls seem painted. They bathe space -- and visitors -- in a warm and completely artificial glow." Isn't this how you want to feel?

I love his installations. The magical-helio-color therapy that happens in the presence of his work is totally insane and intense. Now, I don't expect anyone to cary around huge neon tubes, but here are a few ways I tricked out my bag Tokyo Drift style. Not only can I always find it in a dark bar, but if i get desperate, I can throw the glow inside the bag and find my Sh*.

One last (and more utilitarian) idea...my friends and I have begun to cary just the sticks (un-activated) in our pockets to unfamiliar bars. When one of us is over it and ready to go, we simply crack the thing on. This way the others know that it is time to wrap things up and make towards the door without depending on the blackberry.

Go get some and see how handy, if not chique you can make them...having trouble finding them? Check the back of your mom's freezer. I bet you left one there long ago to keep the glow alive...